...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
