You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
