If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
