Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
