I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
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