And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Randomize