I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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