i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
