You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
