erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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