So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
