she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
