Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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