hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
