How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
