Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't deserve a penis
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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