It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
