Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
