dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
