thus making me awesome and them whores
You smell like stripper and shame
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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