I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
