I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
