walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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