youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
