i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
