Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
last night I used snow as a chaser
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
