Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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