it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
