I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have post one night stand depression
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
