u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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