not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
