I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
