It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
