yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
