Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
