Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Please don't give away my fajitas
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize