This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
