then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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