no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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