I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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