Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I'm really busy with my period
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