You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
