Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
