All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
