That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
zippers are such a cool invention
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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