I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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