is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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