Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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