I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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