woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
