I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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