some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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