Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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