the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
