I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We have started to decorate penises.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize