There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
high people should be assigned attendants
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
