the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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