I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
