Having a random hookup so left but love u
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
