i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
